“Enlightenment is when the wave realises it’s the ocean”

As I’ve been moving forward in my journey of running my own mediation practice and really taking the time to delve deeper into the trauma of divorce and separation to help those who I work with, I’ve found myself doing a lot more reading.  Not just legal/ mediation books but the philosophy of relationships and my fascination with people which is ultimately why I chose to work in the field of family law.

Mindfulness is something I occasionally bring into the mediation room when the burden of emotions feel heavy, preventing people from being able to speak, process or hear.  Sometimes just a few moments of breath control and quiet can help get a dialogue back on track and a sense of calm return.  This often helps clients in the mediation process when it all just seems to much and the emotion takes over.

So, a quote from the good place (a brilliant series), with some Buddhist philosophy: –

‘Picture a wave.  In the ocean. You can see it, measure it, its height, the way the sunlight refracts when it passes through.  And it’s there.  And you can see it, you know what it is.  It’s a wave.

And then it crashes in the shore and its gone.  But the water is still there.  The wave was just a different way for the water to be, for a little while.’

Take some time out to reflect on this.  It has such relevance to many aspects of our lives but it’s also a way of explaining how you may be feeling if you are riding the huge wave of divorce and it feels frightening.   It might be crashing down on you.  You might feel exhilarated riding it.  Acknowledging your emotions and understanding that they will come and go is important and a bit of mindfulness can really help when things feel a bit much.

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