Helping Yourself

There is a wealth of information available online about divorce, separation, children but it is often hard to know where to start.  Books can help you understand the practical, emotional and legal transition.  I recommend that those entering into the mediation process read ‘a client’s guide to mediation’ written by the Family Law in Partnership.  This is a really easy to read guide that really gives you insight as to what to expect during the process and is something you can dip into as you go through the various stages in mediation.

Here are some recommended books for you to read to help you personally, to help understand what your children may need from you and for your children to read:-

First steps through separation and divorce – Penny Rich

You just don’t understand – Deborah Tannen

I am the parent who stayed – Nina Farr

Calm – Michael Acton Smith

Games people play – Eric Berne

Flip it: how to get the best out of everything – Michael Heppell

Getting past no – William Ury

How to have a beautiful mind – Edward de Bono

Collaborative Divorce – Pauline Tesler and Peggy Thompson

Difficult Conversations – Douglas Stone, Bruce Patton and Sheila Heen of the Harvard Negotiation Project

Help your children cope with divorce – Paula Hill

Jack – Helen Victoria Bishop and Simon Murray – this sensitive book inspires children through the difficulty of parent separation

When Mom and Dad Separate – children can learn to cope with grief from divorce written by Marge Heegaard illustrated by children

The family through divorce – how you can limit the damage – Janet Reibstein PHD and Roger Bamber

Drop the Pink Elephant: 15 ways to say what you mean and mean what you say – McFarlan W

The Tipping Point – Gladwell M

Nudge: Improving decisions about health, wealth and happiness – Thaler R & Sanstein S

If you feel that your emotional wellbeing is suffering I would recommend reading ‘Reasons to Stay Alive’ by Matt Haig which is full of wisdom and warmth.

You may also wish to view the following websites which all offer up to date information:-

Resolution – First for Family Law

Family Mediators Association –

Family Mediation Council –

Relate –

Child maintenance calculator –

Parenting plan – Cafcass – and

Money Advisory Service –

Voices in the Middle – for young people when parents divorce –

Kids Aid – helping children who have suffered from traumatic events, ranging from illness, peer pressure through to family bereavements and abuse –

Last but not least there is a really useful guide to pensions on divorce which sets out the importance of considering pensions in a way which is easy to understand.  You can download it for free here:-

A survival guide to pensions on divorce | Advicenow