There is a wealth of information available online about divorce, separation, children but it is often hard to know where to start. Books can help you understand the practical, emotional and legal transition. I recommend that those entering into the mediation process read ‘a client’s guide to mediation’ written by the Family Law in Partnership. This is a really easy to read guide that really gives you insight as to what to expect during the process and is something you can dip into as you go through the various stages in mediation.
If, at this stage, you are unsure of where to start but would like help avoiding a court process, I would also recommend you take a look at (Almost) Anything But Family Court. This book offers parents a detailed roadmap towards a positive goal. It outlines the people and processes separating parents need to know about if they are to avoid the family court. It has been written to increase confidence, reduce stress, avoiding wasting time and money.
It is a vital read for those experiencing a break up. If you would like to order the book, when you order, you will receive two copies, one for you to send to your ex partner (if you are able to). The book is available to order here (Almost) Anything But Family Court – OnlyMums or (Almost) Anything But Family Court – OnlyDads
Here are some recommended books for you to read to help you personally, to help understand what your children may need from you and for your children to read:-
First steps through separation and divorce – Penny Rich
You just don’t understand – Deborah Tannen
I am the parent who stayed – Nina Farr
Calm – Michael Acton Smith
Games people play – Eric Berne
Flip it: how to get the best out of everything – Michael Heppell
Getting past no – William Ury
How to have a beautiful mind – Edward de Bono
Collaborative Divorce – Pauline Tesler and Peggy Thompson
Difficult Conversations – Douglas Stone, Bruce Patton and Sheila Heen of the Harvard Negotiation Project
Help your children cope with divorce – Paula Hill
Jack – Helen Victoria Bishop and Simon Murray – this sensitive book inspires children through the difficulty of parent separation
When Mom and Dad Separate – children can learn to cope with grief from divorce written by Marge Heegaard illustrated by children
The family through divorce – how you can limit the damage – Janet Reibstein PHD and Roger Bamber
Drop the Pink Elephant: 15 ways to say what you mean and mean what you say – McFarlan W
The Tipping Point – Gladwell M
Nudge: Improving decisions about health, wealth and happiness – Thaler R & Sanstein S
If you feel that your emotional wellbeing is suffering I would recommend reading ‘Reasons to Stay Alive’ by Matt Haig which is full of wisdom and warmth.
You may also wish to view the following websites which all offer up to date information:-
Resolution – First for Family Law www.resolution.org.uk
Family Mediators Association – www.thefma.co.uk
Family Mediation Council – https://www.familymediationcouncil.org.uk
Relate – https://www.relate.org.uk
Child maintenance calculator – https://www.gov.uk/calculate-your-child-maintenance
Parenting plan – Cafcass – https://www.cafcass.gov.uk/grown-ups and https://www.splittingup-putkidsfirst.org.uk
Money Advisory Service – www.moneyadviceservice.org.uk
Voices in the Middle – for young people when parents divorce – https://voicesinthemiddle.org.uk
Kids Aid – helping children who have suffered from traumatic events, ranging from illness, peer pressure through to family bereavements and abuse – kidsaid.org.uk
Last but not least there is a really useful guide to pensions on divorce which sets out the importance of considering pensions in a way which is easy to understand. You can download it for free here:-