I am often asked, how I manage the huge burden of emotion and grief I hold day in day out, working with families going through the trauma of family breakdown. Separating is like a bereavement or any other loss. After the initial shock, you start on a journey which takes you through a cycle of emotions. I work with clients who are often at their lowest ebb – depressed, angry, sad, guilty, lonely, fearful and anxious. These emotions are heavy and can by physically felt in the mediation room. I am only human so from time to time, inevitably I absorb these emotions. So, what do I do to ensure I don’t hold onto these emotions so that I can be in the best emotional place, as a neutral mediator to help couples manage this difficult time in their lives? Music is definitely a form of medicine for me. I have a passion for music and there is nothing better to me than going to a gig and getting lost in the beauty of live music. My last gig was Keane at the Royal Albert Hall. A stunning venue to hear Keane play many of their old favourites and their new album, Cause and Effect, no finer example of life’s ups and downs beautifully laid bear with stunning vocals.
I’m getting into the new Coldplay album at the moment. Still never far away from my day to day work, take a listen to the Coldplay ‘Daddy’ song. The lyrics are simple. They could have been written by many young children and adults I see in my mediation practice. The depiction in the official video of the child without a mouth and therefore without a voice is so poignant. It’s incredibly hard when facing loss of any kind to ensure you don’t lose sight of the needs of your children. Offering them the space to express themselves, give them a much needed voice and ‘to be ok’ is so important. If you need help, my child inclusive mediation practice can help. Take a moment to have a listen to this song and the stunning video. It comes with a health warning for anyone facing the loss of a loved one, dealing with any grief or generally just finding things difficult.