As a specialist family lawyer and mediator I know that when you are dealing with family separation and change, it is about much more than just the law. It is an emotionally difficult process first and foremost, and then a legal process and journey, all of which require careful individual consideration. I am here to guide you through the mediation process. However, that’s only one part of the process. Often, clients tell me that they feel out of control, overwhelmed, consumed with anger and sadness and unable to cope. These feelings do not always end when a divorce is concluded legally. They can also sometimes prevent the divorce process from being able to progress.
The emotional divorce is a process which takes time. Divorce represents the death of a marriage and all the hopes and dreams that went into it. Like death, this requires a grieving process for healing. Dr Kubler-Ross’ five stages of grief are known to be denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance. It is likely that you will experience many, if not all, of these stages when you are going through a separation or divorce and this is known as the grieving process.
If you feel that you are stuck, we work in consultation with family consultants, counsellors and coaches who can help you cope with what you are going through. Often the emotional stages are more difficult to work through than the legal aspects of ending your marriage.
I recently met up with Marianna of Chocolate Box Coaching. She provides coaching support to help you be as resilient as possible. We talked about how it is so important to look after your physical and emotional health to help you face a change or crisis point in your life. Many of my clients say that they are feeling overwhelmed, and coaching can help you to reduce stress, feel calmer, more in control and able to cope with challenges, whilst looking for opportunities and making positive changes.
Marianna explained her service to me as an opportunity for you to take the time that you might like to have with your lawyer or mediator to explore your feelings and emotional aspects that you cannot always afford to have. As a lawyer and mediator, I am here to guide you through the process, but I recognise that the emotional aspects are not always addressed. I look forward to working in partnership with Marianna to improve the support network that is available to my clients going through a divorce or separation. Marianna will be there as your sounding board, helping you to explore what you might want to start, stop, do more of, and keep on doing and find the best way to face changes with focus and strength, overcoming any inevitable obstacles calmly.
If you would like to find out more about Marianna’s one-to-one coaching sessions or you would like to find out more, you can contact Marianna on 01908 503194 or visit her website at www.chocolateboxcoaching.co.uk
I hope that my clients will see the benefit of the additional emotional support which I consider will, in the long run, save legal or mediation fees to enable more of my clients who are struggling to cope just that little bit better.
Clare Madeline Mediation