As we approach the end of the year, I’m reflecting on one of my busiest years since I set up my own practice nearly 9 years ago. Stress often comes hand in hand with a busy workload as mediators work day in day out with those facing often unimaginable pain, anger, immense sadness and shock.
Mediation is a safe space for my clients to speak about the really difficult stuff. I sit with couples while they work through these emotions and although I never form or express any views about what I hear, I’m also human and sometimes it affects me. Even with the best wellness techniques that I’ve picked up over my time working in family law, I absorb some of that emotion and negative energy. I was reminded of this a few months back when a client said ‘take care of yourself as I can tell it’s also drawing on you too.’ I felt disappointed with myself when I first read that but actually it was a vital reminder that I am only human. I had been working flat out during that period whilst I was dealing with some personal challenges. It was a valuable check in for me and I am grateful to that client for that feedback. In order for me to show up fully for clients, I need to be regulated and rested.
In the busiest of times, it’s hard to find time for ourselves. Often, self care continues to be put at the bottom of a long to do list. So what does a mediator do to practice self care and release that inevitable vicarious trauma of working with those in pain? I buy a lot of fresh flowers and place them in as many rooms as I can to bring colour and joy on tough days. I bounce! I belong to a newly formed bounce class where I live where we exercise on a trampoline with flashing lights and breakbeat music. I also immerse myself in live music and the louder the better. For me the feel of live music reenergises my whole body and actually is probably one of the few times I’m not thinking about the stresses of family life, work, my clients and running a business.
This year I’ve been lucky to see Mumford and Sons, The Twang, Pete Doherty, Ocean Colour Scene, Supergrass, Johnny Marr, Hurts, The Coral, Bastille and Ruti. I’ll treasure those moments of release and as 2026 is looking like it will also be busy I’m planning how I’ll carve time for the things I need to do to remain healthy and in the best possible place to help my clients.
I will take regular breaks. I will need to continue to set boundaries in terms of my working hours and capacity and I’ll carry on bouncing and finding time for loud, all encompassing music!
I’m also planning how I can grow my practice not in terms of volume but holistically. I’ll be considering how I can continue to improve the experience of the mediation process for those I work with and the mediators I support. I’ll check in more often with my clients both during and after their mediation to share their thoughts and ideas when they are able to look back about what worked well and what could be done differently. I’ll share my experience with those I train who are the future of the profession and work with them to create successful practices which will benefit clients who need a good choice of really great mediators.
Thank you to each and every client who has trusted me to support them during the worst time of their lives and for those I am yet to work with, I warmly welcome you to a space which is safe, structured and human, where you can turn up exactly as you are at that moment and work with someone who is calm, professional, kind and continues to practice what she preaches in terms of self care.
Thank you to my professional colleagues for your continued support of my practice and to my group of fantastic mediators who I train and support but also learn a lot from myself. Special thanks to all the young people I’ve been privileged to meet this year. Your bravery and brilliance continues to inspire me to keep offering this important space so that children and young adults are not overlooked in a process which they have no control of but which affects them deeply too.
Love and light for 2026,
Clare Kitteridge
